Considering Divorce – How Do I Know?

When your marriage is not going well, how do you know when it is time to seek legal advice and file for a divorce?  Divorce is very hard, even when you think you have made up your mind that the marriage is over.  Often times, the decision to divorce is much more difficult than the decision to get married.  The decision to get divorced usually involves and affects others, your children, extended family members, mutual friends and others, to name a few.  When you get married, generally everyone is excited and happy.  Divorce is just the opposite.

When the feeling of despair and hopelessness sets in, it is time to act. You can expect to feel many emotions.  The prospects of losing a marriage is very similar to a death of someone very close to you.  You will most likely experience the five stages of grief which we have heard about at some point in our lives.  You can expect to go through these emotional stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages may not occur in the same patterned for each individual.  You can expect your emotions to vary from very confident and in control to low morale, depression and completely out of control.  People dealing with the decision to divorce often become something or someone they later will not recognize.

Not all is lost. At this stage, it is important to assemble your team and gather information to help you make a good decision.  Individual or marriage therapy should and may provide more clarity to the decision about the seriousness of the breakdown in the marriage.  This is also a good time to seek a consultation with a good family lawyer to understand the legal aspects of what is likely to happen in a divorce.  A good family lawyer will explain the law regarding many important issues, custody, support, parenting time for the children and division of the marital estate.  Here at Graydon, we have experienced family lawyers who will take the time to explain the legal issues to you and help you put together a great team to assist you in making the very important decision to divorce.