Root, Root, Root Against the Cardinals…

…if they don’t win, well – that would be just fine.

When the St. Louis Cardinals advanced to the NLCS with their victory over the LA Dodgers, I had several people either razz me or attempt to “console” me. This is  a reflection on my well publicized hatred of that team. I have been accused of having an obsession. I don’t know if that’s the case, but the fact that people the think I have a problem is probably enough to make me reflect.

So what is my problem with the Cardinals? It has not been a life long issue. Indeed, one of my earliest baseball memories is Bob Gibson’s dominance in the late 60s.

The 1968 World Series is probably the first one I followed (I was 10) and I rooted for the Cardinals in that contest.

Certainly the Cardinals’ hiring of Tony LaRussa was a seminal moment.

LaRussa managed the Oakland A’s in the 1990 World Series.

I firmly believe that LaRussa ordered Dave Stewart to bean Billy Hatcher in game 4, because none of the A’s staff could get him out. It remains the most bush league move I’ve seen in my experience. And LaRussa’s efforts to enable the steroid use of the Bash Brothers is simply disgraceful.

To be fair, the fact that the Cardinals have owned the Reds during the last decade is a factor.

It’s annoying. But that factor probably makes me more mad at the Reds than at the Cardinals. But I think my biggest problem with the Cardinals is their smug self righteousness. The whole “we do things the right way” stuff is irritating beyond description. And as I was thinking about this, it occurred to me. The Cardinals are the baseball equivalent of the Omegas from Animal House.  

Matt Holiday and Yaddi Molina are this generation’s Marmalard and Niedemeyer.

Tony LaRussa of course was Dean Wormer.

Like the Cardinals, they are smug, arrogant and successful. They are convinced of their moral superiority. I hated them when I saw the movie in 1978. And not just them specifically, but everything they represent. I would not be one bit surprised if Holiday swats rookie teammates while making them scream “thank you sir, may I have another.”

And when the Cardinals play the Giants, I not only have someone to root against, but someone to root for. Because if the Cardinals are the Omegas, the Giants are the Deltas. Check out Brandon Crawford.  

Any doubt that Yaddi Molina would escort him to the loser corner at the Omega rush party?

And can’t you just see Pablo Sandoval taking a Belushi-like stroll through the cafeteria line?

I mean, Buster Posey kind of looks like Pinto for crying out loud.

So don’t bother me this week. I’ll be busy rooting for degenerates everywhere!