The Cardinal Way

Readers of my blog know that for years I have spoken the truth about the evil that is the St. Louis Cardinals.  I have suggested on more than one occasion that Tony LaRussa is the spawn of Satan and the current manager Mike Metheny is a self-important hypocrite. While all of this is true, some readers have chalked my feelings up to sour grapes, given the Cardinals dominance of the Reds. Fair enough.

But now, we learn that the Cardinals don’t just hack at strikes. They apparently hack into at least one other team’s computers. The FBI is investigating allegations that some members of the Cardinal organization accessed the computers of former Cardinal executive Jeff Luhnow, after he took a job with the Astros. So who’s the delusional paranoid one now? Apology accepted.

As you can imagine, I hope the FBI nails everyone involved in this crime. And I hope MLB comes down on the Cardinals like a ton of bricks. Like, take draft picks away.  Make Metheny donate all of the proceeds from his stupid book – The Metheny Manifesto – to the Electronic Frontier Foundation. Make Yadier Molina remove that ugly neck tattoo. I’m just getting started.

But besides reveling in the Cardinal misfortune, there is a lesson to be learned here.  According to the New York Times article, the Cardinals had a list of passwords maintained by Luhnow, and used that list to access the Astro system. Stealing signs is generally considered a bush league move. Stealing passwords is more likely a felony.

But the lesson here is this. Be careful with your passwords. It’s probably best not to write them down. And if you take a new job, think about using completely new passwords. Especially if your former employer is an evil empire.